the problem with 'happily ever after'
by Katarin MoonStar
Summary: And it’s like a secret, but it’s also like the end of an era, and Robbie tries not to think about his action figures."
1. the problem with 'happily ever after'

Title: the problem with 'happily ever after'  
  
Pairing: Ray/Robbie  
  
Rating: R ( I'm back baby, bring on the porn)  
  
Notes: Set after 'The Awful Truth', Robbie and Ray talk it out, yeah 'talk' *cough* assumes you've read 'Summer Lovin' (ha ha, I've established my own damn fanon)  
  
Notes2: for Brittney (the ever amazing CharmSkoolGrad) because it's her ship and she really loves these two boys together. And because I've written this just for her, she's going to enter my fic-a-thon, because that's just common manners.  
  
Notes3: You know all that Robbie/Kim stuff that's been happening in canon lately? Ick, that's all been a figment of your imagination. Kim? Kim who? There isn't a Kim here, no sir!  
  
the problem with 'happily ever after'  
  
"Honey!" Ray's mother called up the stairs, "Robbie's here" He could hear the thud, thud, thud as Robbie ascended the stairs, deliberate movements, a gentle cadence meant not to alarm Ray. The simple fact that Robbie felt the need to be that comforting told Ray all he needed to know about the conversation they were about to have. Where was a conveniently timed house fire when you need one?  
  
Robbie doesn't even bother knocking; he never has before, so why bother now, he just walks in and sits down on Ray's bed. The casualness he's trying to radiate would be convincing, if Ray couldn't see just how tightly clenched his back muscles are.  
  
"So... You okay man?" Robbie asks, again going for casual and failing miserably. Ray knows how Robbie sounds when they're just talking and he knows how different that sound is from when they're *talking*.  
  
"Of course I am, why wouldn't I be?" Ray answers, also trying to sound casual. He knows it's just as futile as Robbie's attempt at casualness, they've been best friends for years, they know each other to well for games like this.  
  
"C'mon Ray, you were entitled to be upset. Maybe trying to punch Travis wasn't the best way to do it but..."  
  
"I just don't fucking get it!" Ray explodes, punching the pillows next to him and leaning forward. "What's so fucking attractive about Travis Strong? I mean, he's weird, you can barely hold a conversation with him and he's weird!"  
  
"Ray, Lily can't help how she feels, and she doesn't actually know how she feels about him. It could turn out to be nothing." Robbie sounds so cool and collected and if it weren't for the hand that he put on Ray's knee, Ray wouldn't know that his heart rate has just sky rocketed, he wouldn't have been able to feel Robbie's palms break out in a sweat.  
  
"I'm not just talking about Lily, Robbie." Ray tells him and moves his hand off his knee. He leans back against the wall at the head of his bed and brings his knees up to his chin.  
  
Robbie looks kind of stricken and Ray thinks he might have broken him until Robbie clears his throat a little. "And here I thought you were inattentive."  
  
"Doesn't take a 'sexy little Sherlock' to figure out something that obvious Robbie. I mean, you're practically panting over him, it's kind of gross really."  
  
"You never had a problem with my feelings towards guys before," Robbie throws out, desperation making him a little mean.  
  
"You weren't crushing on Travis Strong before," Ray replies and looks into Robbie's eyes. Robbie gasps a little and looks down at his hands.  
  
"Ray, you aren't... I mean you don't... We aren't... This isn't a jealousy thing. Is it?"  
  
"Of course it's a jealousy thing, just, not like you're thinking. I don't think of you like *that*. Well, not exactly, but, it's special you know?" He looks at Robbie as he says this and it looks like Robbie knows what he's talking about so he continues. "I've never done *anything* like that with anyone else and I know you haven't either and I like to think about that sometimes. Sometimes I'll just be here and I'll be thinking about everything and how crazy my life's gotten and then I think of you... of us and that's all so simple. It helps, to know you trust me this much, that we're this close. It helps when Lily ignores me and my brother beats me up and my dad pulls one of his 'why can't you just be like a brennon' faces, it helps to remember that there's someone who thinks so much of me, they're willing to let me be their first."  
  
Robbie's quiet for a few moments, collecting his thoughts and trying to assimilate the new information. He never knew it mattered this much to Ray, sure it meant a lot to him, this was 'research' of a sort for his future life as a happy, healthy, bisexual man, but he didn't know Ray thought about. He didn't know used to anchor him when life got too bizarre.  
  
"I wanted you to fall in love with me," Robbie finally lets out. "I used to dream about how cool it would be, if you fell in love with me and we could do... this," and Robbie gestured between the two of them, "forever. Ray and Robbie, like it's always been." At the stricken, shocked look on Ray's face Robbie laughs. "I never felt that way about you. Don't worry, you weren't leading me on or anything. I just thought, if you fell in love with me, I'd fall in love with you and we'd... you know, live happily ever after. Kinda dumb huh?"  
  
Ray just shakes his head and reaches out with one hand to grab the back of Robbie's neck. He pulls him forward and rests their foreheads against each other.  
  
"It isn't dumb Robbie, it's... God, you wanted to live happily ever after with *me*?" Robbie laughs and Ray can feel it deep inside him, the vibrations traveling from his forehead down to his toes. It's a warm, happy feeling and Ray clutches it close, never wanting to let it go.  
  
Robbie catches his eye and smiles, he remembers when they were younger and how he used to make Ray play with his female action figures. Ray would always want to be the boy, so he'd dress her in jeans and loose t-shirts and they'd call her 'him' and only then would Ray play. He remembers the time they staged a mock wedding between the 'boy' action figure and one of his girl ones. The 'groom' wore the same jeans and loose t-shirt he always wore but the bride had a long white dress. They said their 'I do's' and kissed and Ray and Robbie threw bits of confetti. Then they got distracted and had a confetti war. They had been so busy quickly cleaning up the confetti before Robbie's mother got home that they completely forgot about the action figures and the wedding.  
  
Ray and him are kind of like that, they started this thing, and then got to busy with other things to really see it through. They aren't going to kiss and ride off into the sunset together, happily ever after isn't going to be their moniker. But Robbie does want this, this depth of friendship that they've established, he'd do almost anything to keep it. He kisses Ray and looks away.  
  
"I'll find some one eventually," Robbie tells him, "maybe it'll be a boy and maybe it'll be a girl, but I won't always be alone."  
  
"C'mon Robbie," Ray says, taking his hand, "You're never alone. You always have me."  
  
And Robbie believes that, believes with all his heart that Ray would do anything for him, no matter what. So he kisses him again and pulls Ray's body against his, flattening it out and molding it against him.  
  
Ray's lips are soft and warm, like they always are and the idea of ever kissing any one else is kind of scary, because no one will ever taste like Ray and Ray's lips taste so *right*. Ray's hands running over his arms and down his thighs are just as warm as they've always been and Robbie gets hard just thinking about them. And when Ray starts to fondle him through his jeans, riding the bulge with the heel of his hand, Robbie knows he wants more. Wants *everything* and he grips Ray's wrist hard to still him.  
  
"Ray, I want... inside me," he gasps out and Ray looks shocked for about 5 seconds and then he's kissing Robbie *hard* and *desperate* and he's fumbling with the zippers and buttons on their jeans and Robbie laughs. "It's not a speed contest," he tells him and untangles himself to stand up, "it'll still be there in 5 minutes."  
  
"I didn't want you to change your mind," Ray breathes out, shucking out of his jeans, "I mean this is..."  
  
"Yeah it is," Robbie replies continuing to strip out of his clothes, "and I want it to be with some one special."  
  
Ray can't say anything, can't move, can't even breathe. He wants it to *be* special for him, wants him to always look back on this and smile, or laugh, or get hard, or... something positive. And then it hits him.  
  
"Mom!" he calls from the doorway, "can Robbie stay the night?" Robbie's stopped moving behind him and Ray can feel him staring.  
  
"Are you two doing something?" his mother calls back from downstairs and Ray fights hard not to blush.  
  
"Not right now, but we're playing basketball tomorrow and we want to get there early." Ray thinks he sounds normal, but he also might sound a little crazy.  
  
"Okay honey, I'll be sure and make pancakes tomorrow," his mother finally answers and Ray closes the door.  
  
"You didn't have to do that you know," Robbie says from where he's sitting on the bed, completely naked and unbelievably vulnerable looking, "I mean we've never..."  
  
"Maybe we should've," Ray answers and continues to strip out of his clothing. He joins Robbie on his bed and kisses him.  
  
All the awkwardness melts away under that kiss because this is familiar and they've been here before. The whole dynamic of this *thing* is that it isn't awkward. So they kiss and stroke and writhe and grind, and it's just as nice as it's always been. Ray's skin sweat slick and salty against Robbie's cock, against his tongue. The slide of their bodies as they rub together, making Robbie moan and arch, baring his throat. Ray licks it while wrapping his fingers around Robbie's cock, pumping and licking and stroking and biting and Robbie arches and writhes and shoves his hand in his mouth to keep from moaning too loud.  
  
Robbie cums just like he always does, like a freight train, like an angel, like he's only come *alive* at this very moment of being. It's beautiful and frightening and, as always, so undeniably *right* that Ray shakes with it. And he feels like he'd fly to pieces with the shaking but Robbie grabs his wrist and lets his eyes flick over to Ray's end table.  
  
And here's the moment of truth, because sure, in theory, Ray knows what to do, but theory and practice are to completely different things. This is his best friends *virginity* here, it isn't something to be trifled with, this isn't something he can fuck up, because there is no do-over.  
  
So he gets the hand lotion out of his bedside table and strokes Robbie's thighs. "How do you want to...?" he begins and can't finish, he's blushing a little when he looks into Robbie's eyes, his hooded, sated eyes, he relaxes.  
  
"Like this," Robbie says, gesturing to how he's laying on his back.  
  
"Umm, didn't those books of yours say...,"Ray begins only to get cut off.  
  
"Everyone who's giving their virginity to Ray Brennon, raise their hands. Look at that, there's me and... me, just do it how I want." And he draws his knees up.  
  
Ray takes a deep breath and starts to slick his finger. Robbie's opening doesn't look anywhere near large enough for him to put anything with any amount of comfort, but he tries anyway. He gently presses in and moves it back and forth. Robbie's relaxed, but he isn't enjoying it so much as taking it, Ray wants desperately to change that. He moves his fingers around, trying to find the 'prostrate' he and Robbie had read so much about while bending at the waist.  
  
He takes Robbie's semi-flaccid cock between his lips and begins to work it with his tongue. Ray had never particularly liked doing this, Robbie could suck cock for hours with a smile on his face, but Ray... he usually only did it for the sake of reciprocity. Not tonight though. Tonight, Ray wants to do it, wants to give Robbie something even remotely close in preciousness as what Robbie's giving to him. So he works Robbie's cock, swirling his tongue over the head and swallowing every drop of precome and works another finger into Robbie's tight body. He has to work hard to keep Robbie away from the edge. He wants to feel Robbie cum around him, wants to ride out the shudders he gets when aftershocks hit him.  
  
So he adds more lotion and pushes three fingers in and Robbie winces a little, but it goes away once Ray hit's his prostrate and picks up the avid sucking. He let's his cock fall from his lips as he continues to work his fingers deeper inside him. His mouth glides over Robbie's pubic bone and the crease of his thigh. It settles on the inside of his thigh and he leaves a sucking kiss there. Robbie jumps slightly at that and grasps onto Rays wrist.  
  
There's no questioning the look Robbie gives him so Ray gently withdraws his fingers and starts slicking up his cock. There's a moment of awkwardness while they try and decide where to put Robbie's legs and it's so much like the *very* first time, at camp, when it was so hot and Robbie's pants just would. Not. Come. Off. They laugh, long and hard and Robbie puts his legs on either side of Ray's hips, slides a pillow underneath himself and angles his hips *up*.  
  
It's as close to an invitation as Ray's going to get so he goes for it. Guides himself to Robbie's opening and tries to gently push inside. It isn't smooth and it isn't quick, but Ray does get in. *HOT* *TIGHT* *AMAZING* and Robbie's wince makes him feel bad for feeling so good. So he strokes Robbie's cock and slowly begins to move himself in and out. He angles his hips to try and get the right angle and when he hears Robbie let out a gasp he knows he's found it.  
  
And they settle into a rhythm, Robbie rocking himself back and forth into it and wrapping his legs around Ray, so tight, Ray starts to worry about his circulation. Ray's trying to be gentle, but Robbie seems to know what he likes and maybe they aren't going to win any medals for technique, but it feels *right* in the way that sex with Robbie always has. He gives into the desire to just lose himself in the sensations and begins to pump in and out of the tight, hot, body underneath him.  
  
It's the first time they've ever done this and it feels like goodbye. It feels like they might never do anything like this again and Robbie tries desperately not to cry out as Ray stabs at his prostrate, over and over, and Ray seals his mouth over Robbie's to cut off the noise. And maybe Ray's mouth tastes like unshed tears, but it could just be the lingering salt- taste of Robbie's precome. And the way Ray's attacking the side of his neck *could* be proprietary, but it could just as easily be the desperate need to cum.  
  
And just before he cums into the tight heat of Ray's fist over his cock Robbie flashes back to the action figures and wonders what would have happened next, if the confetti hadn't gotten in the way. Ray keeps pumping into him after he's cum and he tightens his legs around Ray's waist and thrusts back, once. Twice. Three times and then he feels it. Ray... cumming *inside* him. So deep, and so full and it feel like he might never be able to get Ray out completely. The look in Ray's eyes as he cums, tells Robbie that that's probably the point.  
  
It isn't awkward when Ray pulls out and leans over towards the floor. He picks up a shirt and cleans them both up. Robbie blushes when Ray reaches between his legs and Ray laughs.  
  
"Bit late for that isn't it McGrath?" he laughs, and throws the t-shirt across the room. He pulls Robbie close to him and puts his arms around Robbie's chest. He doesn't fall asleep right away and when he feels Robbie shift slightly he decides it's okay to ask him some thing.  
  
"Hey Robbie?" he starts and at Robbie's grunt of acknowledgement he continues, "Promise me you'll be careful with Travis... okay? I'm not saying you can't... you know, just, be careful."  
  
Robbie just kisses him and smiles and snuggles in deeper. The pancakes in the morning are excellent, but they're nothing compared to the fact that Robbie wears one of Ray's t-shirts home, and that he's wearing it again on Monday when Ray stops him in the hall. And it's like a secret, but it's also like the end of an era, and Robbie tries not to think about his action figures. 


	2. requiem for action figures

**Title**: requiem for action figures

**Pairing**: Travis/Robbie Robbie/Ray (mentions of Robbie/Kim)

**Rating**: NC-17

**Series/Sequel:** sequel to _'the problem with 'happily ever after'_

**Notes**: this is for aruna180 because she loves her the PORN.

**Notes2:** for those of you didn't obsessively read the first part, the subtiltles all come from two lines in the _'happily ever after'_

_"I'll find some one eventually," Robbie tells him, "maybe it'll be a boy and maybe it'll be a girl, but I won't always be alone."_

_"C'mon Robbie," Ray says, taking his hand, "You're never alone. You always have me."_

**Notes3:** kind of like the five things challenge with Travis, only just the opposite.

"maybe it'll be a girl"

He wore Ray's shirt on his first date with Kim and it had seemed like a good idea. It wasn't an overly dressy affair, La Boheme in the park and some coffee at Mickey's. The ballet in the park was classy, and Kim was definitely impressed by the _culture_ it showed, but it was sponsored by the Roscoe Chamber of Commerce and the performers weren't exactly Anna Pavlova. But it was nice to be there with Kim. She had worn a purple dress and sandals and Robbie had had a hard time believing she was really going on a date with _him._

"Close your mouth poodle head, you'll catch flies." She had said as she walked passed, cloud of delicate perfume trailing in her wake. Robbie shook it off and offered her his arm. When the unseasonable chill of the evening finally got to Kim, she even let him keep her warm. She sat leaning back into him, with his arms around her and eventually even let her head drop onto his shoulder.

It had been a nice evening with nice conversation and nice activities. Kim kissed like she argued, all passion and teeth, and Robbie was actually looking forward to a second date. He wore the t-shirt to bed that night and in the morning tried to convince himself the wet dream was about Kim. The feel of the hair had been wrong though and the *taste*…

A senior by the name of Devin Blake came to Roscoe the Monday after that. He was on the Debate team, he played Varsity soccer, and he joined Cougar Radio… Kim never did call Robbie for that second date. She did however tell him that she had changed her mind about having him audition for Cougar Radio, the letterman jacket she'd been wearing at the time said **'Blake'** in large block letters on the back and had a soccer ball on the letter. Ray spent the rest of the day cracking 'dumb jock' jokes, and when Devin's jockstrap 'mysteriously' appeared hanging from the flagpole, Robbie bought him lunch.

"and maybe it'll be a boy"

He wore the shirt again on his first date with Travis. They went to the video arcade and saw a subtitled Kung-Fu movie. Travis won every game of _'House of the Dead 2'_ they played and he whipped Travis at skeet ball. It was with great enthusiasm that he turned his myriad of tickets in for a crackerjack ring and a tiny blue bear. The ring was of the 'gold' kind that turned your fingers green and extended to fit your finger. It was inlaid with a small green stone that was actually made out of plastic. The bear was wearing a kimono that said _'I know Kung-Fu'_ on the back. He'd spent about $30 buying skeet ball tokens and had ended up with about $.25 worth of crap. He made a huge show out of presenting the bear and the ring to Travis.

"Aren't such pricey tokens of affection best left for the second date at least?" Travis had asked, arching an eyebrow and putting the ring on his left pointer finger. He made a point to hold his hand away from his body while they stood in line for tickets at the theater, catching the light as it reflected off the 'stone'.

"If you think this means I'll put out Mr. McGrath…" Travis began, grinning, "I'll have you know I'm a lady." Robbie laughed with him until they reached the ticket window. Travis drew his wallet out before Robbie could and grinned again.

"At least let me buy the popcorn?" he asked him, and then added, "What kind of a gentleman lets the lady pay?" Travis just rolled his eyes and swatted at him. Robbie easily ducked and ran over to the concessions counter for popcorn and a soda.

The movie was really good and when Travis shifted slightly to hold his hand, he let him. They spent the rest of the movie like that, holding hands in the dark. Travis kissed like he did everything else, focused and determined and really, *really* good. And maybe it took them a try or two get it right, but who gets it right the first time anyway? He didn't answer that question, because the answer didn't matter.

When he jerked off that night…. thinking of Travis, he made sure to take off the shirt first. It didn't take long, he wasn't in the mood to savor it and a few quick tugs were all it took. He put the shirt back on once he was finished. Ray slapped him on the back the next morning, congratulating him and offering to buy him something at Mickey's that afternoon. He didn't talk to Travis all day though, didn't even look at him. When Travis **had** asked him a question, Ray made a point not to make eye contact. They never did get that drink together at Mickey's.

"but I won't always be alone"

He hid the shirt in the bottom of his dresser drawer the first time he and Travis had sex. They hadn't really planned it (exactly), but once he knew it was coming, he couldn't wear it anymore. Travis seemed to know it was coming too and when the opportunity came, they both jumped on it.

"How long… did you say she was going to be… gone?" Travis asked between kisses. His hands were moving under Robbie's t-shirt to glide over his back, and his hips were already moving against Robbie's.

"All night man," Robbie replied, trying to slow Travis down, "There's no hurry." And Travis seemed to accept that, because he stopped rutting and started kissing Robbie in earnest. Hard, determined kisses, that expertly got across the point Travis was trying to make. And Robbie couldn't quite grasp what that point was, but he knew it was there and he knew Travis was making it. So he moaned into the kiss and slowly unbuttoned Travis' shirt.

He spent plenty of time kissing all the super pale skin on Travis' chest, flesh so fair it was almost alien. Then he started in on Travis' fly, stopping for only the barest minimum of seconds to strip off his own shirt, before diving in. Travis' zipper doesn't stick, his pants come off easily and when the time comes, so do Robbie's. Robbie takes a minute to wonder at how **odd** it feels for things to go this smoothly, before Travis begins sucking at the skin on his neck and Robbie can't really think any more. 

Travis flips Robbie onto his back and keeps up the sucking kisses. He leaves a trail of moisture down his chest as he works his way down, finally ending up face to face (so to speak) with Robbie's cock. And he doesn't hesitate, not even for a second; he just sucks it in and moans. Moans like there isn't anything he'd rather do and Robbie can tell by the look in his eyes… that there isn't. It's different from what he's used to because Ra… because he didn't like to do that. It was only the one time, the last time, that he seemed to enjoy himself. But there really isn't room for Robbie, Travis and the memory of Ray in Robbie's little bed, so he forces himself to focus on how good it feels. How amazingly talented Travis' tongue is, sucking and swirling and tonguing the slit at the head, basically driving Robbie crazy.

Robbie looks down, through hooded eyes, and watches his cock appear and disappear from Travis' gorgeous mouth. And when he pulls of, his lips are swollen and red and Robbie has to kiss him. Kiss him and stroke him and rut up against him a little, just for the friction.

"Flip over onto your stomach," Travis whispers into his ear, leaning back and over to get something out of his jeans pocket. He comes back with lube and a condom and Robbie raises an eyebrow at him and grins. Travis grins back, "A guy can wish… can't he? C'mon Robbie, flip over." And he pats Robbie's flank in encouragement.

"I thought that maybe… you know, we could do it like this. Face to face. It'd be more personal, don't you think?" Robbie asks him, spreading his legs so Travis could settle in between them.

"Robbie…" Travis starts only to trail off, "I know that it sounds really romantic and everything but it'll hurt more." At Robbie's inquisitive look Travis sighs, "It's always best to be on your stomach your first time, it's easier and I really don't want to hurt you. I insisted on being on my back for my first time and it just hurt a **lot** more than it had to. Trust me on this Robbie." And Travis keeps petting his flanks, occasionally dropping little kisses on them. It hits Robbie really hard then, that Travis is _'Experienced'_, with a capital 'e'. He knew all about it before, about Travis and the underground music scene in London and how Travis thinks he's really lucky and how much he regrets it, but it was never more obvious than it is right now. Travis is treating Robbie like some skittish virgin when Robbie's first time was probably a million times better than Travis', **and** on his back, so he lets him know.

"Travis, I **have** done this before you know," he says and Travis looks a little shocked, "and for your information, my first time was on my back… and it didn't hurt very much at all." That shocked look is still on Travis' face and Robbie takes a second to think that maybe this was the kind of thing you discuss with your boyfriend **before** you break out the condoms and lube. But Travis lets the revelation slide and simply does as Robbie asks.

Having real lube actually makes the preparation process go smoother; Travis' obvious experience doesn't hurt either. Robbie's actually relieved that everything about the way Travis has sex is so completely different from how Ra…, from anything he's ever done before. Travis was gentle at first, but once he knew Robbie was ready for it, he liked it *hard* and *deep*, and Robbie had to agree with that sentiment. The condom felt a little strange, but as long as he wasn't thinking about it, he couldn't **really** feel it much anyway. And Travis was even more beautiful cumming than he was when he was sucking Robbie's cock. The hand that brought him to orgasm was from a different angle, the left hand instead of the right, and that also made it perfect. Robbie cums with Travis' name on his lips and almost manages to say it in his heart.

Travis can't stay the night and when he asks to borrow a shirt to wear Robbie gives him a line about how silly he'd look in Robbie's clothes. Travis accepts this with a nod and a laugh and kisses Robbie before he leaves. It's soft and long and Robbie gets a little light headed.

"Whenever you're ready to tell me about it, I'd like to know." He says as he's walking out the door. Robbie just stands there barefoot and in nothing but his jeans and raises his eyebrows. "About whoever was your first? I kind of thought you would have told me, but I don't expect you to tell me everything. Buddha says that the path to enlightenment is as much about knowing others as it is about knowing yourself. And if you didn't want to tell me about this, there's probably a good reason." He leaves then, throwing one last smile over his shoulder at Robbie as he makes his way down the darkened street.

He tells Ray about it over Torpedo the next day and Ray congratulates him. His smile isn't quite as broad as it always is, but the hand he claps onto his shoulder is warm and Robbie knows he means it. Ray 'lets him win' _("in celebration of the good news of course, I would've creamed you otherwise"_) and when they run into Travis in the hall, Ray starts up a conversation with him about Bruce Lee. At Mickey's later on, Ray buys him a soda and a donut and surprises him by coming back to the table with a mug of tea, which he slips over to Travis. Travis holds his hand all night and Ray makes a genuine effort to keep his jaw unclenched.

"you're never alone"

Robbie nearly tore his house apart looking for Ray's shirt the day of a big history test.

"Mom! Did you do something with my shirt? The grey one with the black around the neck?" he yelled down the stairs. His mother hadn't seen it and after another 20 minutes of searching, Robbie settled for one of his own shirts. He almost choked when he saw Travis walking down the hall in it.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" Robbie asked him after pulling him into a classroom and slamming him against a wall. At Travis' searching look Robbie gestured to his shirt. "Did I say you could take that? Did I say you could just steal my clothing? If I recall all of the conversations we've had on the subject correctly, I have stood rather firm on the opinion of **NOT** letting you borrow my clothes." Robbie lets him go and stands there glaring at Travis, positively fuming. And Travis? Travis had the audacity to stand there, wearing **RAY'S** shirt, and smirk at him.

"You're cute when you're angry," Travis finally said. "Did you know that?" he asks, leaning up to kiss him. Robbie turns his head away from Travis' lips and pushes him back into the wall.

"Take off the shirt Strong," Robbie tells him, face right up against his and voice icy cold, "I don't care what you have to wear or if you walk around topless but give. Me. The. Damn. Shirt." And Robbie stands back and crosses his arms and Travis finally seems to get that Robbie is genuinely angry. Travis looks apologetic as he strips out of his jacket and the shirt and hands it to Robbie.

"I'm sorry Robbie, I didn't…" Travis starts, but Robbie just takes the shirt and leaves the room. He sees Travis walking in the halls later that day in nothing but his jacket and refuses to feel bad. It wasn't **his** shirt to wear so he shouldn't have taken it. And Robbie knows he's being kind of an asshole, how was Travis supposed to know that he could put his dick inside him but not wear his damn clothes? And why did it have to be **that** shirt? He could have taken **any** other shirt and Robbie would have just been mildly annoyed, but it had to be Ray's shirt and that was just… wrong. And the shirt… smelled wrong now. It hadn't smelled like Ray for a long time, but Robbie could at least pretend before, pretend that he could detect the faintest whiff of Ray and he can't now. It smells like Travis, like his sheets smell like Travis and like most of his clothes smell like Travis and like his entire fucking house kinda smells like Travis. Why couldn't he have just let the damn shirt smell like Ray? Well… Ray and him, and that had always been the point.

He hung out with Ray all day and despite the fact that he never told Ray that he'd had a fight with Travis, Ray told kung fu jokes all day.

"You know, I read somewhere…" Ray began.

"You read?" Robbie had interrupted, "When did this happen? I would have brought a cake or something. Congratulations man, I knew all those 'See Jack Run' books would finally sink in **some** day." Ray laughs and swats at him and Robbie ducks and Ray continues.

"Like I was saying chuckles… I read somewhere that guys who do Kung Fu and aren't actually **into** the sport, might be over compensating," Ray says, with a wink. And it's easy to laugh with Ray and it's even easier to put his arm around Ray while they laugh as soon as Travis walks into the cafeteria. He can *feel* Travis watching, and Ray doesn't have to ask why Robbie's practically **flirting** with him, because he just *knows*. 

Travis apologizes as soon as he gets the opportunity to be alone with him again. It's in the studio after the show. No one else is around and Travis does seem genuinely sincere. He's giving Robbie that look, like if Robbie doesn't forgive him, it would be the end of Travis' world. And Robbie knows that that isn't true, but it's nice to believe it, so he forgives him. Travis' smile is so bright and so wide and the kiss he gives him is so *hard* and *hungry and Robbie isn't surprised at all when Travis pushes him into the nearest chair.

And even if Robbie didn't forgive him, *this* would be an excellent reason to. Because no one sucks cock like Travis, no one has ever thrown themselves into it so completely and so effortlessly. Robbie isn't sure, but there's a chance that no one else *moans* quite that way while doing this. And it's *good* like it always is. Travis really throws himself into it, pulling out every trick he ever learned on those dirty London streets. He's swirling the head with his tongue and licking along the vein on the underside. He sucks him in *deep* and swallows around him and Robbie knows he needs to get Travis to teach him how to do that some day.

 Some day when his brain isn't exploding out the top of his head. And Robbie looks down, watches himself, long and dark, appearing and disappearing from Travis' swollen, red mouth. It's *hot* and it's *beautiful* and it's really fucking *obscene* and then Travis pushes a finger inside him. The burn is good and solid and when Travis crooks his finger in *just* the right angle… stars explode Robbie's eyes. He's cumming and cumming hard, and Travis just swallows it down with a smile on his face that's nothing like a smirk. After Travis pulls off, he stays kneeling in front of him, pillowing his head on Robbie's bare thigh. Robbie pets his hair and looks down at him. 

"I am sorry, and I'll never take your stuff without asking ever again," Travis finally says… even if it doesn't look like that's what he wanted to say at all. They stay there like that for a while, before Travis gets a cramp from kneeling for so long. They get up to leave, adjusting clothing and smoothing hair, and studiously avoid talking about _'why'_ Robbie cared so damn much about **that** shirt.

"you always have me."

When Robbie's mom asked him to bring down all of his children's stuff to donate to the Goodwill Robbie thought it was only fair to ask Travis along. He came, of course, in old jeans and an even older shirt, ready to work. They had been cleaning out the boxes for almost 3 hours before either of them complained.

"Please explain to me what my reasoning was when I decided to help you do this." Travis demanded after a particularly heavy, dusty box had left a huge dust mark on his shirt. The look ha was giving Robbie was warning him not laugh… not that it helped.

"If memory serves you were promised sexual favors from me and sushi from my mother. It isn't like you're working for free Travis. I mean, do you know just how much the sex is going to cost me?" Robbie replied laughing at him and ducking Travis' mock punches. He overcompensated ducking the last one and ended up on his ass with a heavy, dusty box knocking the wind out of him. Travis threw his head back and laughed, before squatting down to loom over Robbie.

"That was really graceful you know that?" Travis asks him laughter in his voice as he leans down for a kiss. What was supposed to be an innocent tangle of tongues suddenly turns passionate and Travis moans into Robbie's mouth. "Your mom?" he asks, words blowing directly into Robbie's mouth.

"Not home for hours man," Robbie replies, already getting into the kiss. Travis moans again and drops his body weight down onto Robbie, covering him with the *heat* and *hardness* of it. Robbie arches up into him, trying to get friction. It's been too long, but if it were up to Robbie they'd never *stop* fucking, so 'too long' is a relative term. Travis reaches down for his fly and normally Robbie would tease him for being so *damn* impatient, but for some reason, he wants, no needs to cum **now**. Travis is, as always more than happy to oblige him. 

His jeans and t-shirt are stripped off him in no time and before he can really think about the fact that Travis wants to fuck in his damned *attic*, Travis is naked. Naked Travis is never conducive to structured thoughts or really anything beyond thrust, writhe, *drool*. And Travis is straddling him again, stroking his cock slowly while leaning back and doing the same to Robbie's. He isn't in the mood for Travis' tease though so he reaches out and grasps Travis' wrist. He raises his eyebrows to Travis and then pulls his head in for a kiss. Wet and heat and that *Travis* taste that nothing else has, and it's been almost a month since Robbie has compared it to another taste, and almost two weeks since he started at the taste… expecting it to be someone else's. When their lips break apart, Travis is grinning a little as he grinds down into Robbie's erection.

"In my… pants pocket," Travis gasps out against Robbie's ear, hips moving in a steady circle. They break apart only long enough for Robbie to twist around enough to get to Travis' pants. A quick inspection of the pockets reveals… condoms and a small bottle of lube.

"Expecting something Strong?" Robbie asks, looking up at Travis, eyebrow raised coquettishly.

"I live in hope." Travis replies, kissing his eyebrows. He takes the lube from Robbie and hands him the condom. Robbie watches as Travis pours a small amount of the lube into the palm of his hand and dips his fingers into it. He gasps a little when Travis reaches back, behind himself and Robbie can't see his fingers anymore. It doesn't matter that he couldn't see them, he *knew* what Travis was doing, what was putting that incredibly *hot* look of pleasure on Travis' face and that was really fucking arousing. And it was only that much hotter when Travis looks at him, with all that lust in his eyes, and flicks his eyes down and around, signaling him to hurry up with the condom. And it isn't as slick as Ra… Robbie does what he says and even manages to slick himself up a little by the time Travis' finished. And then Travis is shifting up and guiding Robbie's cock as he leans back and Travis' face just comes alive.

And it doesn't feel like coming home… he left home behind over a year ago in Ray's bedroom. Home was a place with action figures and Ray's shirt and sex without a condom. Home is everything that Travis really isn't… and maybe that's the point. Travis isn't home, and Robbie kind of needed to grow up.

And Travis loves doing it like this. Being in complete control, riding his cock and dictating how fast or slow or deep they go. Sure… Travis has control issues, but Robbie kind of has controlling *men* issues… so they're pretty evenly matched. And Travis' face in the heat of passion, in the exact moment he cums, is nothing like Ra… Ray's. 

Travis and sex with Travis is nothing like Ray and sex with Ray. Nothing has ever been as easy with Travis as it was with Ray and that's why Robbie wanted this so much. There was never a chance that he'd get confused and call out the wrong name and there was never a chance he'd ever really forget who he was with. Not with all that pale, pale skin in front of him. Not with that soft voice and smirking mouth. Hell, even the hand that brought him off couldn't be mistaken. Robbie chose Travis because he wasn't Ray, and somewhere, proving he could do this with some one besides Ray turned into something…else.

"I love you," Robbie tells Travis as he cums, flooding the condom. Travis stiffens and gasps like he's dying and cums *hard*, so hard he's shaking and the kisses he presses into Robbie's neck and shoulder are just *this* side of desperate and Robbie kind of feels bad that he couldn't say it before. He does love Travis, and he wishes this were the one thing he could have given Travis *first*, but it's just another thing Ray got to before he did. The only difference is that Ray had gotten to this without him knowing and had been *holding* it, for all this time. And maybe Ray will always have the biggest and most important piece of his heart, but there's nothing to stop him from giving out what's left.

Maybe it isn't entirely fair to only be able and willing to give Travis the pieces Ray didn't want, but he can't bring himself to begrudge Ray the right to have them. Ray could have taken it all without Robbie ever saying a word of protest. It's a little late for 'what ifs' though and this is the way things are. Travis dresses quietly while Robbie does the same and gets rid of the condom. 

"I love you too," Travis tells him, when he comes back from throwing it away. Travis' kiss is nothing short of sincere and Robbie believes it now when Travis gives him that look, the sincere, 'end of my world' look. He believes it and kisses Travis because of it.

The sushi his mom brings home is great and Travis actually eats everything on his plate for once.

"Did you go through all the boxes to make sure you didn't want anything in them?" his mother asks him and Robbie nods while trying to chew. He gets wasabi on his chin and when his mother is doing something in the kitchen Travis licks it off. The Goodwill truck pulls up the next morning and Robbie wakes up early to see it off. He makes sure he doesn't wake Travis and goes to his drawers to pull out clean jeans and Ray's t-shirt. He stands by the window and watches the men move all the boxes into the truck and tries not to grip his juice glass too hard when they're particularly rough with a box that has his name on it in blue crayon. One of the men bends over to pick up something that fell out of the box and Robbie can see it just long enough to determine what it is. It's one of his action figures, and she's wearing a wedding dress.

Robbie walks away from the window and goes to kitchen to cook breakfast, omelets, definitely not pancakes. He hears the truck start down the street and cuts himself slicing a tomato. Before he can move to get a paper towel, Travis is there with a napkin, dabbing at the blood. He kisses the wound and then Robbie and sits down at the breakfast table, looking sleep mussed and adorable. Most of all, he definitely doesn't look like Ray, and Robbie doesn't tear up at the thought, he's just chopping onions and it's a natural reaction. If home were easy to leave, everyone would do it.


End file.
